The Social Game


Being diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome doesn’t necessarily mean you are bad at making friends. On the other hand, having a behavioral disorder isn’t exactly going to help you in that department.

Starting any kind of relationship presents a unique challenge to each human being. Asperger’s syndrome won’t put you at a disadvantage, but it does need to be factored in if you want to play the game seriously.

All of us need to interact with other people at some point in our lives. The social game is about what you want in return. It’s not wrong to want friendship or companionship with someone. Just keep in mind there is a right way to go about getting it.

Winning Isn’t Everything

You can’t always get what you want. Your success in this game depends on the other players. Each of them has their own views and prejudices. Forces beyond your control will dictate the course of your social life and there is little you can do to change it.

It’s a roll of the dice that determines the people you will meet. You may get lucky and meet someone with an accommodating personality. You may hit a losing streak and encounter only unsavory characters for an extended period of time. Life sometimes deals you a lousy hand. Be brave enough to work with what you got.

Play to Win

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. You won’t be able to convince everyone to like you, but it’s not a waste of effort to be a friend to anyone. You can play this game by your own rules and be the one to determine what victory looks like.

Other people need you to be a player in the game. Nobody wins unless somebody tries. No rule exists that says we can’t all make the first move together.

Nice Guys Finish Last?

No one is cursed to be friendless. The universe hasn’t singled anyone out. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are diagnosed with. No category of human being has drawn the short straw; nice guys, mean guys, or otherwise.

It is a mistake to think if you were different, people would come to respect you. People who put conditions on showing respect don’t deserve to receive it. Aspiring to the lofty expectations of strangers requires sacrifice of the fundamental components of your individuality. If you changed to please each and every person on the planet, then there wouldn’t be anything left of the true you. The world needs you to be you. You’re the only you we’ve got.

This game has no finish line; it’s a part of life. As long as you have something to gain (or to lose) you will be playing the game. You might as well have fun in the process.


One thought on “The Social Game

  1. Joseph,
    I am very proud of you in sharing this blog. I work with little kids with various autism levels. Each one has different needs and abilities and talents. I’ve always wondered what might be going through their minds as we are working with them. Most are fairly involved in their needs of the learning skills that are needed to succeed in their world. None of them can project feelings yet so your take was interesting to me. I hope you know that there are others in our extended family who are dealing with Aspergers just as you are. One is a two year old son of Scott. I know he will be successful just like you. Love you much,
    Aunt Jeannie

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