Being social is a lot of work. Sometimes too much.
Social situations are just like any other task. You have to think about how you want to approach it. Bring the wrong tools to the job and it won’t yield any results.
Here are three possible ways to approach social situations. You can either see it as an art, a science, or just plain work.
The connections we have with people can be beautiful, meaningful, and moving. The care and skill we give to our relationships can result in returns of trust, respect, and honor. Artists strive to improve their craft by putting all their thought and effort into their work. We too can improve our relationships by striving to give them all our heart.
However, not everyone likes the same kind of art. What you may think to be a work of art may be amateurish to another. Not everyone is going to appreciate your artistic skill. You could be the most skilled friend in the world who shows nothing but love and respect to all and still be treated like you have no value. Don’t let the critics tell you how much your art is worth.
Sometimes your intelligence can work against you. You get told by some intellectual you have something in your brain that adversely affects your behavior and then you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out what is wrong with you. You think that if you can solve for x you’ll be able to find the one thing that is keeping you from making sense of everything.
People are more than just puzzles to solve. Trying to figure people out will only result in seeing randomly assorted patterns of behavior. Even the best scientists don’t have all the answers. Take your best theory and get out into the field. The unknowns shouldn’t keep you from finding success. Be filled with wonder; not worry.
The majority of our interactions with people will be just for the sake of getting things done. We talk and work with people simply because we need to. It’s busy work and someone has to do it. You won’t always get to do the work you want to do, but don’t look down on any job. Be grateful to have work.
Some people won’t want to work with you. It’s not that anything is wrong with you. You’re just a lot of work. People choose the work they value most. They may prefer a job they feel is more important or more fun. Lots of people seek out jobs that are easy to perform and usually part-time. These casual interactions don’t require much effort and yield little. Don’t take it personally if people don’t want to work with you. They’re probably not up to the task anyway.
You can approach social situations any way you like. You can choose the perspective you think will make you feel better about life. Or you can go beyond perspective and see life for what it truly is. People who need each other. Beautiful people who are figuring things out just like you. Learn to enjoy the time you have with them.