Turn and face the change.
All of us are an influence. We all leave footprints. Every environment we enter into becomes altered by our mere existence. This can never change. The only thing we can change is whether the influence we have is positive or negative.
Those like me with a behavioral diagnosis can be particularly vulnerable to outside influences. Bullies at school for some reason get a say in how much self-esteem we have. Manipulative people who make us happy end up controlling our behavior. Even wholesome things can become obsessions if we fail to recognize their influence on us.
I try to not be controlling. When I was younger I was frustrated with the way people treated me. I’d try to fix the problem any way I could. It started with just trying to talk to people. When things began to look hopeless it lead to using guilt and eventually fists. A need to fix my problems became a problem.
I realize now there is a flow to life. Every person has their way of doing things. It would be nice if more good things would flow in the direction I want, but I won’t force them to. I respect the flow. If I try to fight the current I could potentially get caught in it and the waves would eventually crash over me.
The relationships I have now consist of people who naturally gravitate toward me. I didn’t have to win them over. They see me for who I am and they like what they see. I don’t try to control them and they give me the same courtesy. That respect ends up creating more positive change than anything else.
Anyone who seeks to influence me with negativity is going to be disappointed. Manipulations, peer pressure, and threats are going to wash past me. I’ll meet their force with calm resistance. The only one who will have say in how I conduct my life is going to be me. No behavioral diagnosis is going to give anyone permission to tell me what to do. My mind remains immovable.
People ask me how I am. I tell them I’m perfect. They laugh.
I hear people say nobody is perfect. This creates a lot of misconception. Perfection is defined as being without flaw. I would agree that every person has flaws, but I refuse to think the word perfect cannot be applied to people in a meaningful way.
First off, people say nobody is perfect as an excuse. I suppose they think failure is acceptable as long as they feel no one can do better. Saying nobody is perfect allows them to lower expectations making their inadequacies seem not so big. I think this is a shame because we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others for a sense of worth.
What I find particularly irksome is when people try to use the line “nobody is perfect” as an argument against me. People assume I’m looking for perfection simply because I desire some quality in my life. I don’t understand why people get upset when I keep my standards. They’ll accuse me of being arrogant just for wanting to improve myself and my situation.
The word perfection is not something that comes up in my vocabulary. The only time I hear it is when listening to others. Everyone has their own messed up idea for what counts as perfect. A word is meaningless if it does not create understanding. I feel people should not say to others they can’t be perfect. It is like saying that improvement is meaningless.
Our behavior can be perfected. It is as real as change. I’ve seen people who were untrustworthy turn into people who are as good as their word and better. I’ve known people who were introverted to eventually become people who are outgoing. Actions, thoughts, and feelings can be perfected to the point where you don’t have to worry about them.
Tell people they can improve. You don’t have to constantly remind them to be realistic in their expectations. They can do that themselves. The greatest accomplishments in human history were due to men and women who did more than what other people expected of them. We will never improve the quality of our lives if we fail to recognize our own capacity to improve ourselves.